Yeah, I am still here. I swear, Christmas is the largest load of hooeee I have ever known. That’s for another day though. 

I have been thinking about some of the things I have learned, from the internets, that has made my life better or cheaper… or both. I have compiled a list. 

1. You know that stuff you put in the dishwasher to stop streaking and spots? Well, we have hard-ass water here and, instead of that chemical crap, we put in white vinegar. Works great. 

2. You know the lint trap in the dryer? Take it out and run water on top of the screen. You will notice that the water does not go through. That’s fabric softener crap. Its the number one reason people’s dryers burn out. I was freaked out the first time I tried it. Just wash it with soap. Use, again, vinegar as your fabric softener. 

3. A simple bowl, near where I walk in the door, has saved me hours of looking time. I put all my pocket crap there when I walk in. Bonus: Put your chargers there (ipod, phone). 

4. If your there is any appendage you have that hurts when you move it… don’t move it. 

5. Shaving. I hate it. Old hair conditioner is awesome for shaving your face, legs, ass or anywhere else society has told you to remove hair from. 

6. You know those 5 blade razors that cost a shitload? Want to make them last? Dry them off, back and front, with a towel after you use them. I have used the same razor for the last 3 months. Still works great. 

7. Boil a bag of potatoes every week. Let them cool and leave ‘em in the fridge. They go with everything when you are hungry. 

8. Metric apology… 

          - 5 deciliters rice

          - 10 deciliters water

          - little salt and oil

          - Put it all in a microwave bowl and mix it up…

          - HIGH 10 minutes

          -don’t stir!

          -15 minutes medium low. 

          -fucking rice man!

I use this one 3 times a week. 

9. Use soap and vinegar for cleaning pretty much everything. Google is your friend. 

10.  Don’t ever put salt in your eyes.

As Steve Martin once said so succinctly, “If you study philosophy, they will teach you just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life.” 

When it envelopes you, you will know. It’s this haze that overcomes you. It fills you with a fatigue. Rather than nothing it turns into everything. Need a glass of water? It doesn’t want it to be easy. People want to talk to you?  You plaster a smile and hope they don’t see through it. When you are finally home, before you even take off your shoes, you are headed for the couch. You will remain there, paralyzed, for the remainder of the evening. 

There is nothing to read that grabs your attention. There is no curiosity, only burdens. 

So what is the remedy? I have heard them all. Exercise. Exercise is painful enough as it is. How can I even get myself to begin? Read. Reading makes me want to fall asleep immediately… Something that never was before. Find a hobby. Nothing interests me at all right now. 

I have studied philosophy, religion, literature. I also have put myself in situations that have challenged my drive, desire and sanity. Well, I have reached some sort of place now that is the most challenging of all. 

I feel like a fucking robot. It all feels so full, but pointless, like going through the motions. I have no fucking passion or desire to do anything!!!

I just got in contact with a girlfriend I had when I was 16-17 years old. Turns out she lived here in Norway for 14 years and has two kids who were born here. She’s back in Buffalo now. A part of me wished she still lived here. It would be nice to have more American friends to hang out with. 

I have been purposely staying away from politics lately. I don’t want to to know anything more until january 20th. Given the last 7 years and 10 months I dread to read what Bush will leave as a final fuck-you to the country. 

I also have been sleeping 16-17 hours a day. It is as if I have been switching to hibernation mode. Sleep, go to work, sleep… I am just going to let it keep happening. If the body speaks you gotta listen.

  I can’t figure it out. Sometimes I think I have writer’s block. Most of the time I feel like there is nothing to be said. Have I become Mister Blocked or Mister Siddhartha? 

Before you go on, in your head, about me saying I may be Buddha, may I explain? 

  I would never profess to be anything supreme. My problem is seeing repeated situations in my life. A lot of life feels predictable. There are struggles and pain. There are silly moments where nothing makes sense but, with a little background in social behavior, it all becomes soberingly predictable. Sigh…

 You know what really kills it? Hearing stories from others. When a friend tells me a story, I love it. I love hearing the ins and outs, the feelings expressed. I love that someone I care about is sharing an experience. I like listening to them. What hurts is hen I share a story and it is overwhelmingly much more over the top… 

I am not trying to compare or contrast others’ lives to mine. I just find myself… becoming a robot, losing feeling.

(This post as been edited)This post is designed to state what is obvious… to some. 

• - Education is not to make you a genius. It’s to make you a complicit, easy to manage, consumer and worker in this world.
• -George Carlin says all of this well.  - 
•  At the very least… question everything.  

 I have to share a few new pics of my little girl. Damn is she so amazing to me. Sitting here and e-mailing an old friend, who I screwed over, big-time, many years ago,  yet he has forgiven me for my past indiscretions, has made me realize how precious life is. It has also made me remember how sweet my life has been. I used to party like a rock-star. Being a Dad is pretty cool now…and with another one on-the-way. Note to self: Must make fishing trip this year. 

  My little family needs to find a new place to live quickly. We are all doing well, but need the time to get situated.  Discopants and Haircuts will be back in 2 to 3 weeks. I doubt I will be online very much until then. I look forward to talking again with everyone who comes and visits. 

  I hope to see you near the middle of August. 

Take Care, Have a fun summer, and Register to Vote!

Eric (Dr. Discopants)