Seriously
by Dr. Pants on Jun.15, 2007, under Life and the Universe
Did you like the last post? I was on a roll. Simplify life…
It’s true. The USA is a shit storm of bad shit. The people in the USA are oblivious to what they are doing around the world. Please forgive them, they know not what they do. It’s true! Most (90%) have no clue what is going on with their tax dollars)
1 comment for this entry:
June 19th, 2007 on 8:58 pm
You know, the only reason I agreed to take payment from the Bush administration to knock down the twin towers was that Dick Cheney promised to tell me a funny joke about people from Pittsburgh, but the son of a bitch backed out on the deal after me and my posse did our part, and it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I found a clip on You Tube of Dick and Karl and Fubar lathering up in the White House steam room that I finally heard the joke, and I’m telling you that I would have preferred a little more cash.
Let me try to recap:
A liberal Democrat from Pittsburgh dies and goes to hell, like they all do, and she tries to weasel her way out of eternal damnation by telling Satan she’s willing to cut a deal. She’s willing to name names. She’ll provide details of underage equine sexual abuse by ordained transexual Presbyterian ministers in exchange for anything that did not include eternal damnation and eternal agony.
So Satan says, “Sure, Arianna. I tell you what. You give me some verifiable dirt on Cindy Sheehan, Ralph Nader, Tom Brady, Al Franken, and Donna Shalalah, and you can choose your poison here. Deal?”
So Satan gets his evidence and phones Rush and Karl and Poke Us in the Fanny host the Right Rectum James R. Dobson and leads Arianna to a room where men and women dressed in scouting uniforms use industrial grinders to polish the erogoneous areas of earlier collaborating liberals chained to the dungeon walls.
“No thanks,” she says.
Next Satan takes her to a room where pre-teens, youngsters, and infants are forced to pledge allegiance to piles of smoldering warriors against terrorists by inserting broomsticks in various orifices, and Arriana declined.
Finally Old Nick opened the door to a room where hundreds of obsequious liberals stood in soft steaming stinking shit up to their necks, smoking medicinal marijuana and drinking white wine, eating cheese and organic vegetables, and Arriana smiled as if she were in Heaven: “I could handle this for a few million years. I just came from Pittsburgh.”
“You’re certain?” Hobbs said. “Once you decide there is no turning back. Hell is forever.”
“No problem,” she said. “I had plenty of jobs worse than this,” and she leapt from the door into the immense vat of diarrhea, with a splash that splattered several dozen of her smiling compatriots.
“OK,” Satan said. “You heard the lady. Break’s over. Back on your heads.”
That’s the NOMF for you. They eat shit for breakfast, so they don’t understand what the rest of the world is complaining about.