Discopants and Haircuts

Alright assholes. I am letting you know right now that any private e-mail addresses you have of mine must remain private. Also, I need you to remain hush hush about anything fucked up I have done. I am about to be famous.

As you may or may not know, I am a charismatic person. I hold my own in a crowd, and I hold my own even better in a vagina. I am about to become legend. You know what I am talking about.. I won’t be of the Vanilla Ice/Dexy’s Midnight Runners fame.. I’m talking more, um, Ron Jeremy/ David Bowie Fame. I am well on my way.

I got a casting call for Long Flat Balls 2 in Oslo on Monday. The director will be the dude who did ‘One Night at McCools,’ and ‘Agent Cody Banks.’ They’re looking for some Americans for ROLLS! I AM the part. I highly doubt I will be rejected given my considerable talent and ability. The film resembles an ‘Old School-esque’ Norwegian type film. I will be sure to keep you posted.