Choices
by Dr. Pants on Dec.15, 2006, under Life and the Universe, Norway
‘Tis No Man, Tis a remorseless eatin’ machine”
I am finding that, the more it is dark and the colder it gets, I want to eat all the time. I really have no special craving other than burritos. I don’t like junk food, never have. I don’t feel like any kind of cookies or cake, chips or dips, chains or whips.. (well, didn’t that just roll out)
I just found out that I will not be keeping my current job after Christmas vacation is over. That sucks.. The good news is I have been offered another job in the building next door. The word is if all goes well, which it will, I will be a full time permanent teacher next year… I just have to get through this one.
The thing is… it is part time. It pays well but I won’t be working so much. Currently I work 15 hours a week and bring in about $3,000 a month. I am working 70% of full time… The new job is 35% so it will be half.. The government will possibly ‘take up the slack’ and pay me the rest to be at a full 100% which would be nice. It’s a one time deal they do here for people who are qualified to work at a job but the employer cannot afford the laborer in their budget. The labor dept. will take up the slack for up to a year. The good part is I will get a full-time 100% job next year and many after that..
The third choice is I refuse the job in January, because it is less than I make now, of 35%, and get unemployment for the salary I make currently… for up to one year…
So what would you do?
December 15th, 2006 on 12:42 pm
I would drive down to Coco Beach with your buddies and drink buckets of margaritas.
December 16th, 2006 on 4:55 am
I would give my left nut, Dr Kenneth Noisewater, to do that Tooth…
December 17th, 2006 on 10:52 pm
If margaritas and burritos aren’t an option, I’d choose working for a living. Remember how you felt when you couldn’t work before.
Man, I want a good carne asada burrito right now…
December 19th, 2006 on 2:33 pm
How about a cheeseburger sub? Mmmmmmm. LaNova.
December 19th, 2006 on 8:57 pm
I’d take the unemployment and send half of it to al Qaeda where investment brokers at Goldman Sachs can pool it with other Internetizens to support truly green causes where the planet oozes back to the kind of political quagmire God intended it to be. Consider it an offshoot of Doctors Without Borders.
Take the money and crawl, dude. Beg. Bend over and scream: Norweg me! Norweg me until the mudshark is distant second to the circular motion of the yellow snow rotation in your imagination.
Three grand a month? Hell, I make more than that in a day, before taxes, most of which goes to help the First Idiot blowing up ragheads who stand between him and the drunken twin’s SUV, and I don’t do anything at all except watch the news.
What the fuck is your problem, Pantaloony? If you want REAL advice, ask Oprah or Dr. Phil.
Osama bin bringing on the bomb since 1896.
December 20th, 2006 on 10:04 pm
You’re such an asshole, Osama. Come on my show, if you dare. I wipe my bunghole with the sterile medical sops of unAmerican sphincters like you.
December 21st, 2006 on 12:22 pm
Yes I have grown rather Norweggy… Literal, dry.. etc. Also.. I also noticed I need a litle zesty Italian mixed in with the dry boring shit…
December 21st, 2006 on 8:06 pm
You know why Italian are called wops? It’s because when God got bored of playing with the firmament, He moved on to fecal matter, which He piled divinely in His magnificant paws and slammed those shit filled hams together, and the sound of of creation slamming together was WOP! And right after that He screamed: “What the fuck?! Let there be light!” And the rest is fiction.