Discopants and Haircuts

Now, I am a different sort of parent than my own. I don’t really think that holding the whole ‘Santa Thing’ above a kid’s head is really the best way to approach discipline. I prefer to quietly discuss the problem with the child, use a ‘time out’, or, if necessary, tell her that I will sell her to a pack of wild, rabid, monster dogs.

Oh yeah, the driving rules.. I forgot to continue the series of exposés on things that bug me in Norway. The whole ‘driving rules thing’ really defies any logic that a Vulcan, like myself, can find. I suppose I should get on with explaining…

 First, there is a main road and a side road. Got that? Pretty simple right. Okay. Now, in the States and around the world, when you are driving on any road that is considered the ‘main road’ you don’t have to stop unless there is a stop sign or a stop-light. Makes sense. Pretty simple right? Pretty much commom sense right? On roads that you can’t tell which is the  dominant one there are stop signs and stop-lights. Pretty straight forward.

 Here in Norway things are a little different. On a main road, that isn’t designated with a diamond shaped sign (very hard to spot depending on where you are), the side roads have the right-of-way. The problem is this:

1. The diamond signs aren’t posted all over the place.

2. Norway has lots of winding roads through often difficult terrain. Norway has lots of side-roads that look like driveways.

3. People shoot out onto the main roads like there is no tomorrow.

4. People often drive down main roads without diamond shaped signs like there is no tomorrow not stopping at every little side road.

5. On roads that have diamond shaped signs people still shoot out onto the main roads.

 So what does this all mean?

It means that driving here is really fucked up! I am constantly looking around for signs to figure out if I have to stop or wait or have the right to keep going. But that doesn’t matter! Some people don’t! So I am left literally shell-shocked while driving, constantly paranoid that someone will hit me, stopping all the time, trying to look around corners.. . My guess is I am not the only one.

Why is this? What is the logic in this rule? Why is it so damn complicated? I propose this:

Main road=right of way.

Stop signs if you need to stop.

When I posed this ‘logical’  question to my Tuesday language class teacher this was the answer I got. "Don’t worry. If they don’t see the sign and hit you its their fault." Phew! Their fault! Well, that’s a load off my head. So the guy with the severed head, while dead, still, in his last thought on earth, can be rest assured that the guy who side swiped him was in the wrong.

Thought that was crazy? Wait till you hear about the booze..